We’ve been there before. The kind of love that is picturesque and possibly all too easy. Two troubled hearts find solace in one another, as the plot goes. The relationship will escalate, intensify, and eventually combust from the strain of disillusioned feelings.
A rabbi said: “You love the fish? That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it?” And then we’ve heard of the other analogy about flowers too. Wonderfully illustrious ideas, all from the same tree.
Well, the love we had, the one that went up in flames, is fundamentally the result of receiving too much, and giving too little. You see, when we find that special person, our inherently selfish instinct wants to know: what can he or she do for me? We want pleasure and we want it now. Our partner unwittingly signs up for the function of our gratification.
Gosh, I can’t stop gushing about him to every person I know! This must be love.
Or, do we simply love the way they make us feel? Alas, their connection to us is a one-way street; a lot like eating. Like with all gratuitous things, there’s nothing left once we’re done with it. The cookie is gone once we’ve consumed it. The fish has nothing else to offer once inside of our belly. Let’s not kid ourselves. We love the taste of fish; that’s why we kill it, that’s why we boil it. An hour to cook the fish, and another hour to devour the fish.
In the simple scheme of things, the object of our love lasted for as long as it served. Hardly enduring.
But we want our relationships to endure, right? It’s time for a different kind of love; a love of giving. Give when you’re weary and give when you’re down because if the other does the same, it’ll be much easier to finish the race together.