For The Love Of Fish

For The Love Of Fish | Sashimi | Food For Thought

We’ve been there before. The kind of love that is picturesque and possibly all too easy. Two troubled hearts find solace in one another, as the plot goes. The relationship will escalate, intensify, and eventually combust from the strain of disillusioned feelings.

A rabbi said: “You love the fish? That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it?” And then we’ve heard of the other analogy about flowers too. Wonderfully illustrious ideas, all from the same tree.

Well, the love we had, the one that went up in flames, is fundamentally the result of receiving too much, and giving too little. You see, when we find that special person, our inherently selfish instinct wants to know: what can he or she do for me? We want pleasure and we want it now. Our partner unwittingly signs up for the function of our gratification.

Gosh, I can’t stop gushing about him to every person I know! This must be love.

Or, do we simply love the way they make us feel? Alas, their connection to us is a one-way street; a lot like eating. Like with all gratuitous things, there’s nothing left once we’re done with it. The cookie is gone once we’ve consumed it. The fish has nothing else to offer once inside of our belly. Let’s not kid ourselves. We love the taste of fish; that’s why we kill it, that’s why we boil it. An hour to cook the fish, and another hour to devour the fish.

In the simple scheme of things, the object of our love lasted for as long as it served. Hardly enduring.

But we want our relationships to endure, right? It’s time for a different kind of love; a love of giving. Give when you’re weary and give when you’re down because if the other does the same, it’ll be much easier to finish the race together.


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Bonnie Teh

Bonnie is in cloud nine with ideas nobody can execute. She hopes to rid this world of borders, segregation, and corporate greed. She is an overcooked lamb on the outside, mashed potato on the inside. She sounds intense but she's actually a connoisseur of dubious puns.

11 Comments

  1. Hi Bonnie! What a nice read! Very thoughtful in your article. It made me think of my love live and relationships I have with my partner and family. I agree that we tend to act and think only according to what we want. We should consider others as well. 🙂 🙂

    • Hey Kavita!
      Thank you so much. I’m so pleased to know it spoke to you. Even I let slip the small gestures some days. Am working on it too. All the best to you! xo

  2. Nice piece. I think love is complex. Sometimes hard to understand our partner treating us this way. We should be more understanding. 🙁 🙂

    • Thank you so much, G.

      It’s beautifully complex; otherwise there’d be no reason to write songs about it! xo

  3. Dear Bonnie. Good to see a female voice on this website. As a woman I understand the way you feel. But communication and acceptance is important to everybody. Looking forward to more from you. 🙂

    • Hey Patricia,
      Most encouraging, thank you! Well, now that we’ve addressed the situation, we can move forward with open communication; heart to heart conversations if you will. xo

  4. Hi Bonnie,

    I think its great to take notice of how our actions can be selfish at times, and it is easy to take a pessimistic and negative outlook at times. This is why its important to reflect on our actions, and only we ourselves can bring us out of this. Its important to balance our useful pessimism with a healthy dose of positive action. We don’t like something about our situation? We change it.

    • Hey Nic,
      Ditto! I think many relationships fall apart because we lose sight of our self-awareness. Sometimes, the biggest elephant in the room are words not spoken, and gestures not shown. Luckily, as you implied, these things are within our control, so there is hope yet 🙂

  5. What an interesting blog. It’s really a lot of food for thought. Very clever.

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